Accies, Alloa and Anyone but the Old Firm.

It's fair to say most of my short, undistinguished writing career has been inspired by the topic of a very big club from Govan.

While this has me half-way to mainstream hackdom, if I'm ever gonnae make the Sportscene couch I also need to churn out the occasional platitudinous acknowledgment that for some cuddly, wacky, salt-of-the-earth individuals, Scottish football isn't just about Rantic and Celgers.

When Saturday Comes let me do just that on their website over the years. Here are a few quick links to articles proving I'm as capable of a rye, sideways, "What are they like?!" piece to camera as that other fat, bald bloke who used to interview the woman who sold the raffle tickets at a non-league club, on every episode of Football Focus.

Think his name was Clem. Her name was always Darling... or Sweetheart. No. Was it "My Love"?...

SEPTEMBER 2014: Dumbarton and Alloa Progress Impresses.

MARCH 2016: Natural Order of Rangers and Celtic Must not Return.

MAY 2016: Hibs Can Ditch "Bottlers" Tag Against Rangers in Cup Final.


                            

I should also take this moment to apologise to anyone checking the fourth reference on the Hamilton Academical FC Wikipedia page. It doesn't get any better than seeing your work has become a Wiki citation; it doesn't get any worse than seeing the article cited has been removed from the When Saturday Comes website (Pro-Old Firm to their core!).

So here, from December 2013, in the middle of a season which would end with them back in the top flight via relegating Hibs, is that full piece on my very real and undying admiration for Accies (With a liddle bit of Livi thrown in at the end):


Hamilton Academical Prospering with Frugal Ethos

Despite competition from more illustrious clubs, Hamilton Academical topped the Scottish Professional Football League (SPFL) Championship going into December. Dundee, Falkirk and Raith Rovers undoubtedly envy the sell-on clause Accies negotiated when selling James McCarthy to Wigan four years ago. The midfielder’s £13 million move to Everton this summer reaped them something approaching his original 2009 price of £1.2m. But even before McCarthy’s latest transfer Accies had won all five league games and their cup tie at Premiership Kilmarnock.

 Moreover Chairman Les Gray promised none of the windfall would go on new players or completing Hamilton's two-sided stadium. Their new synthetic pitch, plus refurbishment of the New Douglas Park floodlights and dressing rooms would be paid for. The remainder would go towards returning to the top flight, debt-free, through developing young Scottish talent. Accies refusal to scatter cash on players or stadium was the antithesis of Scottish Premier League's (SPL) idea of itself but kept them alive while the SPL crashed.

Few clubs better understand the importance of remaining both frugal and local. In 1970, with debts mounting and Clyde eyeing their ground, Accies briefly resigned from the league. They sold the ground to Sainsbury supermarkets in 1994. But wrangling over the proceeds and the local council condemning old Douglas Park ensured seven years ground-sharing, with Albion Rovers in Coatbridge and Partick Thistle in Glasgow. Income plummeted. Unpaid players even went on strike. Failure to fulfil a 1999-2000 fixture cost Accies 15 points, ensuring relegation to the Third Division. A supporters group determined to bring the club home polled more votes than the Liberal Democrats in a 1999 by-election.

After two pre-war Scottish Cup finals it seemed modern day Accies would remain famous only for knocking Rangers out the 1986-87 Scottish Cup and cult hero Ian "Fergie" Russell, Scotland's most foul-mouthed fan. Anyone passing New Douglas Park might echo the contempt co-commentator Craig Burley expressed whenever Setanta or ESPN covered Old Firm visits during Accies’ three SPL seasons. Stuck on top of a scaffold, Burley slated locals seen watching the game from outside the ground.

 A much bigger polythene-covered scaffold behind the home goal wasn’t a nascent grandstand but a barrier to non-paying spectators. It’s now a training pitch. Another side of the ground presents a five-a-side pitch and 600 bucket seats under a marquee.  And buying a pie at New Douglas Park gets you struck by the ball. The food outlets are at the front of the stands, bordering the pitch.

But those stands - housing offices and retail outlets - have front rows approximately eight feet high. The sightlines are great. In 2008 Accies reached the top flight for the first time in 20 years. The SPL, formed in 1997, insisted they bring the seated capacity up to 6,000 (thus the marquee) and install under-soil heating, beneath their all-weather pitch. Accies could only afford to re-lay with grass. The SPFL replaced the SPL last summer, just as the synthetic pitch vital to Accies’ community-based infrastructure was reinstated.

The 2009 scrapping of the Scottish Premier Reserve League denied youngsters the chance to learn alongside experienced pros. At Hamilton this happens in the first team, under 32-year-old player-manager Alex Neil. With such a young squad Accies’ Under-20 League side becomes their de facto reserves. Glasgow-born McCarthy played first team football at 15. Incredibly, Scotland wouldn’t cap him at youth level so he plays for the Republic of Ireland. His FA Cup-winning Wigan team-mate, James McArthur – part of Scotland’s recent revival under Gordon Strachan - captained Accies at 20 and carries a similar sell-on clause.

Accies’ cutest move was not selling to the Old Firm. With Scotland a bargain basement for English clubs, sell-on clauses would reap less down the line. Rangers also won all their August SPFL games - but in League One. Accies will relish being one division above the behemoth with the UEFA-approved stadium which plunders their catchment area. Their pity, however, should be aimed slightly further down the Championship. Livingston, who in late October required the intervention of Supporters Direct Scotland to tackle mounting debts, still suffer from past adherence to the SPL model.

 Also producing future Scotland internationals (Leigh Griffiths, Robert Snodgrass), Livi’s 10,000-capacity four-sided Almondvale stadium was ready for their 2001 SPL debut. That you couldn’t see some pitch markings from the back of their shallow stands was irrelevant as TV aesthetics became all. Within eight years Livi qualified for Europe, won the League Cup and returned to the Third Division after their second administration. During the same period Accies returned to Hamilton and worked their way up to the SPL.

Rather than half-arsed, New Douglas Park embodies the half-way house Scottish football must occupy in straitened times. It lacks its predecessor’s rounded character but affords a comfortable view of both a decent game and the undulating financial landscape.